Only when you are completely healed, you will be able to help others.
Only when your cup is full and overflowing, you will be able to give others.
These are two prominent ideas that one can find in the world of healing. Let me share my perception of what these two statements mean.
What does it mean by healed – fully healed?
Is it that you have the “perfect’ body? Or unlimited, easy inflow of money? Or a mesmerizing relationship with a soulmate? Is that healing? Or is it much beyond?
From these experiences, I have realized that healing is not just restricted to any of the above aspects. A healthy body, soothing relationships, and abundant finances are just side effects of a healed, whole, and complete person. Does that mean a person who is healed is perfect? No. When you feel whole and complete, you are in complete peace with everything and everyone. There is no discrimination.
Anger and fear are embraced in the same manner as love and joy. A discomfort in the body is looked upon in the same way as when the body is in a fully comfortable space. There is a sense of neutrality – peace.
Again, being neutral does not imply that you are indifferent to what is happening. It does not imply you are unaffected by what is happening in your external environment. Being unaffected is not the same as being indifferent. Being neutral or unaffected just means that the person is aware of everything and he is choosing the responses to what is happening with the same awareness. There is a heightened sense of compassion for everything and everyone, but nothing feels personal.
Even in situations and experiences where something uncomfortable (for lack of a better word), even in situations that could unpleasantly affect you, when you are neutral, you are with that and even the way you react. This is the space of fully healed, where one can find only bliss and gratitude in everything.
When you are in this space – healed – neutral – bliss – your cup is always full and overflowing with love and gratitude. Remember, the misconception arises from the view of various perceptions you carry about yourself. One would have given a certain definition about feeling healed, which, again, arises from the space where you identify yourself with the body or mind or even both.
When you can step back and see and realize that you are not the body and mind, but are just enacting a certain role, and in fact, you are just an observer of all that is happening – and even more, you are not even a person, but something is observing, seeing, watching all that is happening. And, this is you – this something that has no name, tag, role, label, body, mind – this is you.
And, this exactly is the space of fully healed where one’s cup is overflowing with love and joy – ideally, nothingness because from that space the person can give everyone everything.
No, this is not some whimsical fantasy. This is the experience I have had.
I also carried quite a lot of perspectives and ideas about feeling and being healed, whole and complete, perfection, being neutral, and being nothing. As I aligned more with these concepts of healed, whole, and complete, perfection, being neutral, and being nothing, I started experiencing quite a lot of things at the body–mind level.
The experiences were not very pleasant is what I felt when I went through it. But, as I write this, I understand that those experiences were the ways subconscious and body adjusted themselves to be in alignment with the soul-level shift I had experienced. Yes, nobody signs up for “unpleasant” stuff. But one does not realize the gifts the experiences present till the perceptions tinted by the thoughts and ideas from the past experiences are present.
And, it does feel like a journey – a challenging journey. It took me almost 7 years to realize and actualize what I wrote above. Now, I can look at every moment with gratitude. I can see through the blessings these moments offered. I am now aware that I am healed. I am whole and complete.
Does that mean I am “perfect”? At this point, the word perfect does not make sense to me. Yet, I say that I am perfect but that is the way I, as Nithya, see it, feel it, and embrace it. And, the cup is overflowing with love, bliss, joy, gratitude, faith, and abundance.
The journey from unhealed to healed to “absolutely” healed has taken time. I have seen experiences as challenges. I have gone through periods of self-sabotage, anger, disgust, and fear. And, I, also, like you have wanted to experience only peace, calm, and serenity. I also wanted to run away from home. When I went through certain physical experiences, I felt devastated. I had felt that everything had come to an end. But that was the time I was identifying myself with the whole experience.
This happened even a month back, but the experience of the last month was the ultimate breakthrough, I should say. It just showed me everything. It was a moment where I truly shifted to actualizing and embodying Nothingness. The creation of the hashtag, shunyaivaham, happened in that space. That realization is so blissful. Amazing.
There are no words that could explain how it felt, and even, now how it feels. That is when I realized that I was healed way back – but I had colored it so much with various perceptions and ideas and beliefs, not just generated by self, but absorbed from others, that I could not see it. That seeking was always there – for that space where I felt healed – but that healed had a list of perceptions and expectations.
Now, as I write these, I am grateful that I am where I should be. Everything is right. Everything is blessed.
Thankful. Grateful. Blessed.